I recently gave a motivational speech to some graduates from the SOAR program. As I was writing out the speech, I realized that I never shared my struggles post grad school on the blog even though I hinted at it many times. I also realized that I was finally far away enough that I could talk about it with some humor and share it with strangers for a motivational speech. Here is what I shared about lessons I learned from a season of rejection.
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PHOTOS BY: DORESE JENAE PORTRAITS
WHAT HAPPENED?
I applied to over 100 jobs in a year and was rejected by every single one. Honestly, I don’t know the exact number because I stopped counting after 100. And it wasn’t just a no. Sometimes, the no was right after the organization put me through 3 – 4 interviews with 10 different people in their organization only to say some polite version of “we like you but not that much to give you a job.”
By October 2019, the year mark, I decided to call it quits. I quit because I felt very low, and my self-esteem couldn’t take one more hit. I’m sure you’re wondering: “Girl, what was you doing to sustain yourself?!” While applying for jobs, I was picking up contract gigs to help pay the bills and not thinking anything of this, foreshadowing something to come later.
When I called it quits, I decided to focus all my energy on building my business. I figured since that’s where I was getting all the shine, I might as well lean into it. Did I want to start a business out of desperation? Absolutely not. I’d just graduated from grad school and didn’t have much money to get it going (LLC Twitter never told me about all the upfront costs required to get your business off the ground).
Apparently, I picked the right time to lean into my business because not too long after changing my focus, the pandemic hit, and so many people also decided to open their businesses. This brought me even more business. While growing my business, I found my self-esteem increasing. So much so, that I applied for another job when the opportunity opened to work in police reform – enter the Urban League.
Two weeks ago, I hit my three-year mark at the Urban League, where I have been able to thrive in a way that I never thought would happen for me. I get to work with pretty dope people every day and help folks that look like me. This all would not have happened if I had not experienced my season of rejection.
CLICHE-WORTHY TAKEAWAYS OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM A SEASON OF REJECTION
Because a good motivational speech is nothing without takeaways. Here are the biggest takeaways I learned from my season of rejection in the most Candra way – all in cliches:
KNOW WHEN TO QUIT
Like relationships, friendships, and ponytails, there are things you shouldn’t force and know when to quit. If I kept doing the same thing and trying to get the same results, I would have missed the opportunity to try something new and build upon the skills I’d start to develop through my business. Those skills helped prepare me for my role at the Urban League, which I would not have been ready for if I continued in that direction.
Also, quitting allowed me to lick my wounds, rebuild my self-esteem, and clarify what I was looking for in a job. I realized that I was just desperately applying to anything to make ends meet. I mean, rightfully so. For some reason, bills require you to pay them every month. Wild. In hindsight, it’s better that I didn’t get any of those jobs I applied for because I would have been miserable. I guess you could say the rejections were a blessing in disguise. 🥴
WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE
I made something good out of the rejection and darkness, so much so that my business still brings me joy and extra income to this day. If I’d focused on all the rejections, I would have missed the pink elephant in the room and not met and worked with many amazing clients who helped me realize another calling I have.
YOU MISS EVERY SHOT YOU DON’T TAKE
I found out about the job at CSJ through friends. They suggested I submit my resume. Even though I did, I wasn’t anticipating getting the job because I thought that chapter in my life was closed. Had I listened to that negative voice telling me not to send my resume, I would not be here before you today.
GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
I was a wreck every time I got a rejection. I would cry, beat myself up about everything I did wrong, and overanalyze what I said in the interview to cause them to reject me. A rejection is not a reflection of your worth as a person. This applies to every area of your life, but giving yourself grace means being kind to yourself and recognizing that the job hunt is a journey, not a destination. It’s okay to take breaks, ask for help, and celebrate small victories.
FINAL TAKEAWAY
So, if you find yourself in a season of rejection, I encourage you to continue to hone your skills, build your networks, and, most importantly, give yourself grace. You will not be able to imagine all the greatness that will come by focusing on the things you can control.
HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED A SEASON OF REJECTION? IF SO, HOW DID YOU OVERCOME?
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