I’ve been running for 10 years but didn’t call myself a runner until recently. There were so many reasons why I avoided adding that label to myself. Honestly, the strongest reason was the impossible standards I set for myself. And, of course, what I saw. It’s why representation matters and why organizations like Black Girls Run exist. Today, I’m sharing why I’ve only recently started calling myself a runner and where I am now.
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PHOTOS BY: MEGAN PRYLL PHOTOGRAPHY
WHY I HAD TROUBLE CALLING MYSELF A RUNNER
I started running for real the summer between undergrad and grad school. I had a part-time job and wasn’t making that much to join a gym. So I decided to try the workout I’ve always dreaded, yet the most cost-effective, running. Even after running several half marathons, I didn’t call myself a runner because I had an image of who a runner is and what that looks like. At the time, and even now, I don’t see a lot of Black runners unless I’m running with the Black Girls Run group. I also couldn’t get behind calling myself a runner because I wasn’t running as much, as far, or as fast as others to consider myself a runner. It wasn’t until 2019 that I got rid of the crazy standards and started calling myself a runner. All because I realized that I do the basic thing that a runner does — run.
A RUNNER RUNS
The most basic definition of a runner is someone who- wait for it- runs. Shocker, I know. It doesn’t matter how much you run or how fast you run. If you are making time to run, you are a runner. I took that away from myself because I was comparing myself to this crazy standard and what I saw instead of what I was doing. Also, I was forcing myself to train for something every year to achieve this mystical idea that if I get faster at running races, I’ll be a real runner.
WHAT CHANGED
Realizing this strain I was putting on myself made me have a love/hate relationship with running. When I couldn’t find a job in 2019, running because my safe space to pound out my insecurities and get me out of the house and my funk. Because of this, I no longer viewed running as another thing to achieve (yes, I am an overachiever if you couldn’t tell 😬). Rather it was something that I could just do. What a huge relief that was for me.
WHERE I’M AT NOW
I’m only running to run. And I absolutely love that for me. The weight that I had on myself to “perform” at running is gone and it feels good just to say I’m going to run today because I want to. And not beating myself up when I choose not to. Also, being able to listen to my body when it’s telling me to slow down is something that I’ve been doing more. Which again has been revolutionary and helps me appreciate running more.
SHOP THE LOOK!
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